Through My Eyes
by Tsuki KamiNeko
Summary: Yaya never thought graduation day was going to come so fast, she's not ready to let him go yet... Oneshot - Kukai


Through My Eyes - - - -

It was strange watching my best friend walk onto that stage with that bright smile on his lips. The principal handed him his diploma and I swear to god that half the girls in the stand burst into tears. It never really occurred to me that he was going to go someday. I suppose I was thinking that there was so much more time before this inevitable 'graduation'. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or shout for him, either way- mixed emotions was hard to deal with. I'm only 11, yet even I understand _those _feelings and it hurts to watch him leave. I don't want to cry on his big day, but I know I wasn't happy. He waved and struck a pose that had all the older girls squealing in delight. I laughed, that was so Kukai-kun- to please his ever growing fans one last time. I saw him search the crowd and found my eyes, I managed a wave and a smile. For now, this is the least I can do for him. I tilted my head as I watched him descend down those wooden steps. It made me want to grow up faster just so I can catch up with him, yet I know, no matter how much I run there's still the two years that separates us. He walked off that stage and the procession went on after without a hitch.

The graduation ceremony was finally over as I dragged myself out of that stuffy room and into the fresh air outside. I sighed, I was once again put in charge of putting things away, just the same as being put in charge of putting the whole thing together. It was tough being a guardian sometimes. No one was around to help me, Amu ran off somewhere and Kukai was busy with the fans that was trying to mob him naked. I sat myself down on the warm grass and stared out towards the school. It was quiet, I laid my head on my knees and closed my eyes. I felt the wind brush up against my leg and I felt myself smile. This whole thing was affecting everyone, but none harder than Amu herself, what with Nadeshiko leaving for Europe and now Kukai moving to middle school. It was all too much for her to handle. She treasured us beyond anything else, I know we were an important part of her life, she probably didn't expect it to break apart to fast. I opened my eyes and looked up at the light blue sky that was dotted with cotton candy like clouds. I sighed with exhaustion, will we ever be alright again?

I opened the glass door to the Royal Tea Room with Pepe floating behind me and found Tadase and Amu already in their seats. My eyes saw cake on the table and of course I made a run for it. I bounded up the stairs and gave the two a large smile before starting my destruction on the sweets. I placed a forkful of soft Madeleine in my mouth and almost squealed in delight of its delicious goodness, I sure was going to miss Nadeshiko's desserts. As I chewed I saw Amu's sullen expression from the corner of my eyes, my heart dropped a little from my friend's sadness. I reached over and took her hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze, she looked up surprised. I mustered my best encouraging smile at her, even if I felt weak myself; I had to do it for her sake.

A voice suddenly jolted us from our dazed stupor, a voice that I recognized and loved so much. My head popped up to see that auburn haired soccer player standing there proud and mighty with the diploma in hand. My heart filled itself with an unknown giddiness and literally launched myself at him and began my rant on him about him leaving. Who was going to play with me? Who was going to buy me sweets when I'm down? I wanted him to stay another year! I don't care if he has to be held back a year! I don't want Kukai-kun to go! He gave me that apologetic expression and ruffled my hair. He told me that was impossible. A wave of sadness washed over me suddenly and I broke off of him with a small smile. Kukai said that he had a speech prepared for us, it wasn't like him, but still, he wanted to go out in style. Daichi flew by his shoulders with the same sardonic grin as his master when he landed on his head and listened like the rest of us. I tried my best to hold in my tears when he finished and I miraculously succeeded. Tadase asked if he could talk to a portrait of Kukai if he ever got lonely, he just told him to call him. Amu wished him luck and added that this was just the beginning of a whole new chapter in our lives. I realized I wasn't the only one that was going to miss Kukai terribly, that I wasn't the only one that needed him. Like me, both Tadase and Amu has placed Kukai's in their hearts too. So with that, I smiled one last time at him with a thumbs up before he walked out those translucent glass doors of the Royal Garden. Like Amu said, this was just the beginning... But does the beginning always hurt this much?

x x x

Days went by and turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I hated time and I hated how we had so much work as guardians! I stared idly at the pile of papers in front of me that has blocked off my vision of Rima, our new Queen's chair, and yawned. Amu stifled one before Kairi, our new Jack's chair shot us a disapproving look. It was amazing how strict he was when he was a year or two younger than the rest of the group. The three of us made an exhausted face before groaning in unison, I started one of those tantrums again. The new Jack was so different from Kukai! This one was quiet, stern, and strangely mature. I wanted Kukai-kun back! The overwhelming feelings inside my stomach was going to pour when it seemed like God answered my prayers. There was a loud laugh where the fountain was when we all looked up, I felt my lips break out into a smile, the ecstatic feeling came back. Kukai-kun! Jesus, he could've visited more often! I ran up to him and threw myself at him as I felt his arms wrap around me in a warm hug, he smelled nice with a mix of boy shampoo and that faint smell of fresh grass. So he's been on the field this morning.

"I've missed you, Yaya!" he whispered into my ears playfully and I felt my cheeks go red from his words. I buried face into his new black and green uniform to hide the blush that was coming on, his hand landed gently on top of my head from old habit. It felt so nice to be like this, I wished he never left- To be able to hug him like this whenever I wanted... That'll be nice. I felt an elated feeling inside my head and I smiled. Though soon his attention was on Amu and I felt the rage of jealousy come on as I stepped back from him. He went over and grabbed her arm and ran, something about getting in some training before the day was over and he was to start soccer practice. I sat down with my bottom lips pulled out and my brows knitted together. I heard Tadase chuckle and tell me that he'll be back in no time to play with me. Jealousy wasn't a completely bad thing, but I could feel it growing inside.

"Oy! Yaya! Wait up!" he called after me, I didn't bother looking back at him. I continued my way down the street towards home. Kukai had offered to walk me home since it got so late. I rejected and this piqued his curiosity. I rarely declined his offers, and so he followed me. I was angry at something, but I didn't know what. All I knew was that the moment he and Amu came back I just stormed out of the garden with my backpack in hand. I knew the tears were coming and I didn't want the others to see that I was crying over the fact that I didn't get any time with Kukai. I heard his footsteps grow faster in result I quickened mine so that I was practically running in another second. I just wanted to get away from him, I figured that being further away from him was going to much easier for me than being so close. The tears were coming again as I tried to wipe them away, but they were just clouding my eyes when I felt a hard tug on my arm. "Yaya!" he voice was much closer this time, in fact it was right next to me. "Yaya... I know you're mad at me." he said softly into my hair as I struggled against his grip that was around me.

"I...I'm... I'm not mad!" I argued back, it was futile to fight against him. I felt so weak and just tired so I gave up. Kukai's two years older than me and was a guy after all. Physically, I can't win with an eleven year old body- It didn't take a genius to figure that out. The tears didn't stop it's pilgrimage down my face as I stared at the ground before me. The lights above us flickered on, throwing both of us in shadows.

"Tell me what I did wrong... Please, Yaya." he muttered, his breath tickled on my neck but I was too strung up on pain to feel it. I felt something inside of me snap when I forcibly pushed myself away from with anger and faced him.

"What Kukai-kun did wrong? What Kukai-kun did WRONG?" I stammered out in between sobs and hiccups, my hands were constantly rubbing themselves against my soaked lashes and eyes. "Kukai-kun never visits... And when you finally do, all Kukai-lun can do is focus all his attention on Amu-chi!" I ranted on. I saw him sigh and ruffle his hair, I've seen done it whenever he's trying to calm me down and that just made me more pissed at him. He walked over to me with that Kukai look on his face and I turned around with my arms across my chest when I felt his arms around my small waist. His chin propped on my shoulder looking over with those mesmerizing green eyes of his that I sometimes find myself staring at.

"You... Aren't possibly jealous are you?" he asked me and I stared horrified at him through tear stained eyes. No! No! Impossible! I **was not **jealous of Amu and Kukai. I just wasn't. How could he possibly be thinking that when a cute girl like me was crying my eyes out? He chuckled at my response, "There, there. I didn't mean anything by it Yaya... How can you doubt me after all the years we've known each other? Hm?" he asked me as he poked my cheek, I pulled away from his hands with a frown. I had enough of his laid back attitude and that smile and those eyes... Everything!

"No! It's Kukai that's a baka! A big baka! When he can't even see that Yaya likes Kukai-kun so much!" I shouted at him when my hands suddenly flew to my mouth and he stared at me dumbfounded. There was an awful silence that followed my outburst and I felt my skin burn from underneath. It was so embarrassing! Where in the world did I get off in telling him that I liked him? I couldn't possibly right... No, I can't be. I refuse to believe that I'm in love with my own best friend. I'm only 11! What would I know? Yet... Why is my heart beating so fast for him? I was confused and exhausted suddenly as new set of tears sprung to my eyes.

"Oy! No need to cry!" Kukai said coming over, I looked up at him and couldn't help but let a giggle out. His cheeks had turned a dark shade of scarlet and he was looking to the floor in hesitation and grounding his shoe against the asphalt of the street. He mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't hear very well and made a face at him.

"What?" I asked him and he looked at me even redder in the face when he started walking again. "Hey! What'd you say!" He shook his head and grinned at me with that boyish face of his, I ran after him when he stopped.

"Piggy back ride Yaya?" he asked me kneeling down already and I beamed climbing onto his back, I was too tired to argue anyways. As he walked I could feel his steps falling into a pattern, thud... thud... thud... Just like his heartbeat.

_'Kukai-kun's so warm...'_

x x x

In a few minutes the girl on his back was asleep, he looked back on the red head and smiled to himself.

_'When you're a little older Yaya... I'll tell you what I said today... I'll say it over and over again because... I love you too Yaya Yuiki.'_


End file.
